PIRATES 3 PLOT RESOLUTIONS REVEALED (NOT)!

Disney has been handing out letters at its advance screenings of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End entreating critics, journos and bloggers not to give away the myriad turns of events and character outcomes in its skull-and-crossbones franchise's third outing.

"We respectfully ask the following," writes the Disney publicity gang. "Please do not reveal the many plot resolutions that occur throughout the film... completing the characters' story lines....

"We would appreciate it if you would not reveal these details in your articles, on your program, online, on your blogs or in any other format. We hope you appreciate there are many Pirates fans who will enjoy their moviegoing experience so much more not knowing in advance the outcome of the many plot twists."

Believe me, there are enough plot resolutions and character story lines in the long and windy Pirates 3 to supply the next ten sequels and spinoffs. Who can follow 'em all? Plot twists? Characters? Keira Knightley in a funny hat? Who cares!